Active Minds at Bradley hosted a men’s mental health seminar on Wednesday, where featured speaker David Romano told his story and gave advice on dealing with depression in all facets of life.
The organization’s president, Gabi Necastro, wanted to put on this event so that men, who are a minority in their group, know that it’s okay to seek help.
“The men we know personally have gone and sought help and then been rejected or told what they’re feeling wasn’t validated,” Necastro said. “So we really wanted to bring in a men’s mental health speaker to show men that what they’re feeling is validated and they are more than welcome to reach out.”
Romano, who is a part of the Active Minds national chapter, talked about his pursuit of perfection and that, as an athlete, that pursuit was detrimental to his mental health. He would pray to get hurt before games so he wouldn’t have to deal with the failure of not being perfect.
Eventually, he got diagnosed with depression. Seeing it as a weakness, he refused to tell anyone and sought professional help, to no avail. At one point, he tried to take his own life.
Some time later, he sat in his counselor’s office and saw his dad, who he thought of as “Superman”, balling his eyes out. To Romano, this was his turning point.
“That’s when I realized what it meant to be strong, what it meant to be resilient, what it meant to be a man,” Romano said.
Small words of support made the biggest difference for Romano, and he pointed out three things that can be done to make a difference in mental health awareness: self-care, normalizing the mental health conversation, and connecting with each other.
One audience member, freshman kinesiology major Daustin Perez, resonated with the self-care aspect.
“I really remember what he said about ‘you can’t light yourself on fire and warm other people up,’” Perez said. “Being aware that you need to take more care of yourself and actually opening yourself up to the fact that that’s a possibility.”
Romano added that he still struggles to this day, and told an audience of mostly men that they are heard.
“It’s ok to not be ok,” Romano said. “It is not ok to suffer in silence.”
He also encouraged anyone struggling to start the process now, before it’s too late.
“Do you fill up your gas tank when you’re out of gas and you’re on the side of the road or do you fill it when it’s a quarter empty?” Romano said. “That’s the same thing with mental health because you want to be more anticipatory than reactionary.”
When it’s all said and done, Necastro hopes everyone learned what Romano was trying to teach.
“I hope people just realize [that] what they’re going through and what they’re feeling isn’t completely abnormal and isn’t something they should be ashamed of,” Necastro said.