Reaching Beyond to Grieve

May 8, 2018
By

Her nerves were palpable. Everything from what she was wearing, whether or not to bring a less fancy purse, to how to carry herself was firing through her brain like a million little anxiety tornados. There couldn’t be any clues to give something away. Finally pulling up to 3120 N. University St., she parked in Pawn King’s lot and things got real. She considered an aggressive approach, demanding straight up honesty and convincing the psychic that she could handle it.

She was easily impressionable, fully willing to interpret everything as having a deeper meaning. The psychic’s daughter opened the first door and immediately slammed it in her face as she screamed, “Mom! Someone’s here!” With the storm door slightly ajar, she had an instinct to turn around and leave, but before she could move, a woman appeared. The psychic was disheveled, with greasy black hair, capri-length sweats and a green Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shirt. After quickly being ushered into the home and into a back room with nothing more than two chairs, a table and a lacy cloth with an opened Bible-looking text upon it, she placed her palms right side up and anxiously awaited for her grandfather to come through.

What transpired within the next ten minutes did not provide any insights or a reunion with her grandfather. In fact, the psychic’s request for three Marlboro Lites and a RedBull as the method of payment was more specific than the reading itself.

Millie Mitchell is anything but a stereotypical psychic. Her business card offers up services such as tarot card readings, palm interpretation and chakra balancing.

“It was complete BS and it was like she couldn’t even put the effort into making something up,” Tori Moses, who also received a reading from Mitchell in the fall of 2016, said.

Mitchell was hesitant to comment on any questions specifically directed toward what she does, but remained self-assured that she works for the betterment of others.

“Everyone needs people. People need people. Whether that’s a husband, plumber, priest, whatever, I’m just providing a service. That’s my number one motto,” Mitchell said.

Calling medium Laura Lee to pick her brains about the ties between grief and medium shifts was more beneficial. Since the age of three, Lee has had contact with the others side. After graduating from college and working her way up the corporate ladder for a few years, she decided to pursue her medium abilities as a fulltime occupation. She was a popular radio show host for fifteen years across the nation, and continues to do shows at random.

“All psychics use different tools and divinations and it can be from the gamut, it can be astrology to tarot cards to psychometry, where they touch the clothing item of somebody… pendulums, you name it, there can be all sorts of tools,” Lee said. “My tool is medium shifts so it’s connecting to spirits. All mediums are psychics.”

Lee came from a religious family, her one side very Catholic and other very Protestant. Her father was planning on becoming a priest before he was called to Vietnam. However, both sides were very open to discussing the presence of spirits and an aunt on her mother’s side also practiced, but it was kept quiet.

“When I first started out, I was very empathetic, but then realized I had to be stronger than the other person,” Lee said. “The ones that are the most heartbreaking are missing children, which I volunteered to do that for 18 and under, and usually those are horrendous. Even when people come to me looking for answers for someone’s death in their family, sometimes it can lead to something really tragic.”

A group of siblings received a private reading from Lee and the oldest of the group was a middle-aged woman with full-blown skepticism. She sat in a chair in the corner, as absentmindedly listened to her brothers and sisters marvel at what their departed mother supposedly had to say. Lee continually told the middle-aged woman that her mother was putting a crown on her head and calling her a queen. She simply laughed throughout the session. That night when her children came home from Burger King, they placed one of those paper crowns on her head.

“There’s ways for all of us to have that divine connection where we can communicate to other realms and our loved ones,” Lee said. “And they show us personal signs every day, but some of us are scared of that kind of contact. We think it might be bad because were taught it was bad.”

A couple was sitting at one of Lee’s show when she told them a baby would be coming. They argued, saying it wasn’t possible because her tubes were tied. They were adamant that there was absolutely no way to have another baby. Lee expressed her apologies, explaining that her departed parents saw the couple preparing a nursery. They were deeply disturbed and upset. Years later, their eldest daughter was carrying a child when she got into accident. While they lost their daughter, the baby survived and they took the child as its next of kin.

“I personally believe medium shifts and this kind of connection will help resolve grief for people,” Lee said. “It’s not for everybody, just like counseling, but grief therapy works for some. I believe I’m helping people make that leap or help them move forward in life so they aren’t stuck, because grief is tricky. It can take a hold of somebody and their life and spiral them down if they don’t step out to get some sort of help.”

Lee named her website “Messages of Love,” because she said her main responsibility is connecting people to one another and helping them move through tough times.

“Most often people won’t hear or understand that sense of love because they are so closed off from grief. Grief shuts people down. It makes them want to isolate themselves from social interactions, pushing family away. That’s what I see happen unfortunately sometimes when the death of a loved one comes through.”

This is why Lee believes she can provide an alternative to grief therapy, rather than having people pay to see a counselor. She said she doesn’t see any harm in those mediums that falsely practice if they bring peace of mind, but don’t understand why they would.

“Just like there’s bad lawyers and bad doctors,” Lee said. “I’m not saying there aren’t any out there, but if they’re going to be bad at a profession, why not become a doctor.”

Bradley University communications professor Laura Bruns teaches an honors seminar on the “Rhetoric of Death & Dying,” where they examine the language and artifacts surrounding the death industry.

“The words we use to describe death, to describe sympathy, give comfort and talk about grief … all of those words tell us a great deal about our culture,” Bruns said.

Bruns said in her class, they mainly focus on how funeral home directors, hospice nurses, cemetery managers and the like find meaning in their every day experiences. From discussions with them, one can start to understand how America handles the topic of dying as a whole.

“We are on the one hand obsessed with this idea of death but we are also a death denying society,” Bruns said. “It’s still taboo. We don’t want to talk about it or have it in our face everyday, but were fascinated enough to want to seek out that information.”

John Porter, a 2013 Bradley graduate, is an individual who first discovered his intuitive abilities at nine years old after witnessing an apparition in his grandmother’s home. From there, he started picking up on people’s feelings, doing readings, using tarot cards and getting a handle on his gift. Porter defines his intuitive abilities as the process of utilizing your psychic aptitudes without having any external assistance.

When Porter moved from Phoneix to Peoria in 2005, he started doing readings out of a shop in Peoria Heights called The Moon Dancer. However, one of the most memorable instances of his career involved the cold case of the murder of Mason City’s Dustin Englebrecht. After being awakened by the apparition of Englebrecht with a goatee, jeans, black and white tennis shoes and a white t-shirt, he said he knew he needed to help the family.

“[At first], I didn’t think anything of it because it happens to me all the time, but the very next morning, I was watching the news and they were talking about Dustin and his picture came up and he was wearing the exact same outfit,” Porter said.

He said he went on to help the family directly, rather than go through the police. After informing them of what he was seeing, he said he urged them to stop the searching because they were destroying evidence. He also said he reassured them that Engelbrecht was buried a lot closer than they believed and that the police would find his body within five days.

On the fourth day, police uncovered a shallow grave in a cornfield, and the police report relayed a lot of the details he already told Englebrecht’s family.

“To me, it was a satisfaction that I could finally help this family’s grief, kind of minimize it, because I had the chance to meet with the mother and some of the family members,” Porter said. “It was very gratifying to know that they were at peace with all the information I gave them.”

Porter always tries to answer all of his client’s questions, and has a policy of being upfront if he doesn’t know an answer, to avoid wasting the time or money of the client.

“I’m not going to pose myself as someone that knows everything, because I don’t, and I’ll be the first one to tell you that,” Porter said. “There are times that I will have a client in front of me and I cannot read for them. Its like there’s a block wall, and I will tell them, I’m sorry, I’ve tried several times to get a bite on you, but I just can’t.”

Whether or not consulting a psychic is the right outlet for you when it comes to finding closure for the death of a loved one, Bruns said it is important to remember that it’s different for everyone.

“The way that we express ourselves psychologically in dealing with this idea of loss and impertinence is different. Some people grieve by drinking a lot … by crying a lot … by doing things that are self-destruction,” Bruns said. “It’s all over the map and there’s no way to predict how that is going to happen for each individual person. The most healthy way to grieve is to let it happen and let yourself grieve. I think that’s another message that’s not put out there enough. That’s it’s OK to take a couple weeks to grieve, or months, or years.”

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Featured

Late Night BU Gets the Halloween Season Started

By

Bradley University embraced the Halloween spirit with a themed Late Night BU on Oct. 11 from 9 p.m. to midnight. Late Night BU, a...

Read more »